It’s been a while since I’ve created art seriously – over a decade in fact.
I was the kid in art class everyone said was “so good!” At the end of 5th grade I was even awarded an art “scholarship,” a $50 gift card to BLICK Art Materials which I used to buy an art desk.
My obsessions back then were Goosebumps books, comics, and the MYST computer game series. Inspired by these, I created mysterious and sometimes dark drawings, and comic books featuring original characters.
Noteworthy characters included Flame Rider, his sidekick Zap, and his arch nemesis “Dr. Halloween,” whose head was replaced by a jack-o-lantern after a nuclear plant exploded near a pumpkin patch.
Back then I thought I would make art forever and dreamed of being a comic book artist or a video game developer. So, what happened?
Practical concerns had to be addressed. There was college to think of, and choosing a well-paying career path. My attention span had also grown shorter by the day due to social media and the internet. I no longer had the patience to create art.
Childlike wonder and idealism were replaced by cold hard facts, and the desire to fit in. This experience is described beautifully (or tragically) in Supertramp’s “The Logical Song.”
Better Late Than Never
As the years rushed by, the loss of my creativity has been more and more acutely felt. It left a void that cannot be filled with career success, increased competence, and “getting along” in society.
Seeing my old art materials or passing by paints in a store, I felt a distant but familiar voice calling me. An accusing voice saying I had great potential but opted for a safe yet sterile road.
Finally I resolved to act. After the dust settled from getting married and moving to a new apartment, I brought out my old art desk (yes, the 5th grade “scholarship” one). It was a little worse for wear, but nonetheless functional.
The last push I needed came from an online challenge called “The Alphabet Superset”, created by art and self-help YouTuber, Struthless. The premise is simple: create one piece of art for each letter of the alphabet using a single medium and theme.
I decided to make 9”x12” watercolor pencil illustrations of my dreams. As of now I have four created and am working on a 5th for the letter J.
(If you would like to follow my progress on this project follow me on Instagram.)
Confronting the Problem
So, why did it take me so long to return to art?
The fact is, art is not “practical”. By its very nature it is pursued for its own sake, not as a means to an end. As an end in itself, art enriches one’s life and brings alive one’s surroundings.
Imagine a house decorated with beautiful classical paintings, then imagine one with no wall art. Clearly the latter is lacking something crucial, yet from a purely practical standpoint wall art is not “necessary.”
Now I argue this is not really true, and is actually the opposite (that beauty is the most necessary thing), but to those locked into a materialistic, utilitarian worldview, my words would fall on deaf ears.
The problem is, like many people I unconsciously bought into this worldview. Another voice, one of criticism, whispered in my ear every time I considered sitting down and creating art.
“It’s a waste of time, and time is money,” it would say.
“There are better things to do, like pick up groceries, clean the house, and update your budget.”
Because I could not see immediate benefits from creating art, motivation was hard to come by. I did not expect to become a master and embark upon a successful and lucrative career – there’s a reason “starving artist” is a cliche.
Even as a hobby the barrier of entry seemed too high. Sure, I had created art as a child. But how much of that skill remained? The amount of time and effort necessary seemed daunting.
Youtube and social media made for much easier recreation, and every other “quick fix” offered by modern technology beaconed to me.
Like many, I became accustomed to instant results with minimal effort. This training in distraction and short-term thinking was the final nail in the coffin. The negative voice would say that not only is art not useful, it is also too difficult and takes too long.
With the rise of AI, sitting down and creating art seemed even more nonsensical. Why put in all that time and effort when a similar result can be achieved with a prompt and the enter key?
The Solution
After grappling with these critical voices, the solution slowly became clear: I must simply defy them. Is art a waste of time? Then I will waste time! Does it take too long? Then I will embrace boredom! It is like Kierkegaard’s quote:
“After being unable to make anything easier than it had already been made, out of genuine interest in those who make everything easy, I comprehended that it was my task: to make difficulties everywhere (source).”
In other words, fulfillment is not found in going with the flow of an easy life, but in taking on the difficult and worthwhile things. Author Cal Newport puts it this way in his book “Deep Work:”
“Human beings, it seems, are at their best when immersed deeply in something challenging (source).”
Art’s Usefulness
Now to return to art’s “usefulness.” Only a very narrow worldview enthrones logic and utility above all else. Within such a view art is considered unnecessary. This is the mentality that drives schools to cut funding for it.
However, as I’ve said, art is an end in itself, not a mere means.
When it is treated as a means only, it has a name: propaganda. This is the prostitution of art to some narrow end, such as a political campaign or any advertisement. Though ads are not inherently bad, one must admit even the best one is a cheapening of art as such.
For example, If you put a Rembrandt next to a RedBull ad, the superior art is clear (no disrespect to RedBull!)
But when one goes beyond a materialistic view, art is infinitely useful. It enriches life and brings a sense of joy and meaning to all those in its presence.
And there is another use that is often overlooked: art as meditation, even prayer.
The painters of religious ikons believe that they are not only painting, but “praying” while creating them. The very act of creation is one of meditation on the mystery depicted. In a sense this is what every artist does – he meditates on a mystery. And there is a certain reverence due the process.
To describe a final and ultimate usefulness, I will quote Dostoyevky:
“Beauty will save the world.”
This is true both positively and negatively: lack of beauty will also doom the world. As society disintegrates, so does art. Modern art removes all standards and considers beauty entirely relative, so that a urinal and other coarse depictions can be considered art.
Brutalist architecture mars city landscapes, a testament to the most narrow definition of usefulness possible: what is economical and serves a function.
People will go to great lengths to see beautiful art and buildings, in Europe and beyond. They will then turn around and say beauty is relative, and defend functionalist or postmodern architecture with gusto, seeing no contradiction.
Moving Forward
So, why am I returning to art? Because it is a difficult yet rewarding pursuit that elevates the soul. Because beauty is like oxygen and humans suffocate for the lack of it. I do it to grapple with the numinous and defy modern trends of mediocrity.
And if you relate to my experience, I challenge you to follow my example. Give art a try despite its “uselessness”. Or try something else that inspires you but has no “practical” use. Take walks in nature, learn calligraphy, take music lessons, the sky's the limit!
If you would like to follow my progress through the Alphabet Superset, follow me on Instagram. And if this is your first time on Numinous Nitsuj, welcome! I post monthly blogs on numinous subjects, such as art, philosophy, psychology, and more.
Special thanks to Struthless for inspiring my artistic renaissance!
Enjoyed the post… I recently took up carving wildlife in wood, so your post hit the mark. You’re pretty good at writing also.
I remember taking a class in Humanistic Psychology in college and learning that the aesthetic sense is one of the attributes that separates *homo sapiens* from the lower animals. A love of beauty is hardwired in us.
Anthropologists have traveled to the most isolated communities in Africa, the Australian outback, and Amazon rain forests. Primitive peoples shown pictures of snowcapped mountains in Switzerland and Gothic cathedrals in Germany respond with expressions of spellbound admiration.
They know what's beautiful even without undergoing the socialization to grasp it fully. It's an interesting phenomenon.